“I carry silence with me
the way others carry snapshots
of loved ones. I offer it
and wait for a response.”
Stephen Dunn
When I ponder on life I realise that life and art can get beautifully intertwined. This is supposed to be about life, but my head also jumped to my art, but in today's post I'll try to stick to life.
What I liked most about this thought was that it gave strength to the notion that holding onto silence and being quiet is a strength and maybe a gift. At the very least it is an OK way to be and for this confirmation I am grateful.
We had a good discussion at Book Group the other day and I mentioned I had just bought "Quiet - the Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking"(TED talk here). Nobody at Book Group really believed me when I said I was an introvert. They looked at me, the one who happily talks about books, who queries and questions and will always add something to the conversation, who will debate or disagree with other views; and they thought 'no way'.
But silence and quietness and solitude are my place and my way of being. I can always do the other things - speak in front of people, circulate at a party and make people feel welcome if needed; but that always seems to cost me so much. I am exhausted by it. I can do it, but it costs me.
The quietness of the mountain top, my studio and our home offers me so much. When I am away I long for the silence and stillness and quiet that I find here. Even when I move about and travel, I take silence along with me for most of the ride.
I like the notion of walking thru the world with silence in my wallet or my pocket, and offering it to folk. Letting them spend time without words and in peacefulness and reflection.
I guess some people can feel uncomfortable with that silence, but I think its good to learn that silence can be OK.
Stephen Dunn
When I ponder on life I realise that life and art can get beautifully intertwined. This is supposed to be about life, but my head also jumped to my art, but in today's post I'll try to stick to life.
What I liked most about this thought was that it gave strength to the notion that holding onto silence and being quiet is a strength and maybe a gift. At the very least it is an OK way to be and for this confirmation I am grateful.
We had a good discussion at Book Group the other day and I mentioned I had just bought "Quiet - the Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking"(TED talk here). Nobody at Book Group really believed me when I said I was an introvert. They looked at me, the one who happily talks about books, who queries and questions and will always add something to the conversation, who will debate or disagree with other views; and they thought 'no way'.
But silence and quietness and solitude are my place and my way of being. I can always do the other things - speak in front of people, circulate at a party and make people feel welcome if needed; but that always seems to cost me so much. I am exhausted by it. I can do it, but it costs me.
The quietness of the mountain top, my studio and our home offers me so much. When I am away I long for the silence and stillness and quiet that I find here. Even when I move about and travel, I take silence along with me for most of the ride.
I like the notion of walking thru the world with silence in my wallet or my pocket, and offering it to folk. Letting them spend time without words and in peacefulness and reflection.
I guess some people can feel uncomfortable with that silence, but I think its good to learn that silence can be OK.
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| ©2009 Fiona Dempster - Temple garden, Kyoto |
What a lovely quote. An ambassador of silence...of quiet moments. Yes. Just what the world needs.
ReplyDeleteI too am an introvert...have always considered myself very shy, in fact...not that it normally comes across in my writing. I understand now that there's a difference, but suspect both reside in me. I either click with someone or I don't. Thankfully, you and I clicked!
My weekend solo jaunts to Philly or DC are times for quietness under the guise of art trips. My husband understands this and knows that I will return restored.
How is the book, by the way? Loved the TED talk and have the book, but have yet to begin it.
Hi J - I have been away and had to wait till we returned to reply after several highly unsuccessful attempts! I love the notion of an ambassador of silence and quiet moments- a great job description if ever I heard one. Like you I struggle to understand shy and introverted but certainly feel as if i have both parts in me - again it doesn't always show. Yes lucky for us that we clicked hey!?!?! The book is a blend of things - and there are definitely nuggets of gold within. Go well (the count down is on right?)
DeleteA feeling of relief washes over me as I read this post. "But silence and quietness and solitude are my place and my way of being" ....I so relate and I find it difficult to create art when I don't have a few hours of silence. The book has been on my wishlist for a few months while I decide whether to buy it or not. Let me know what you think. Walking through the world with silence in one's pocket is a comforting thought.
ReplyDeleteHi Robyn - it's so nice to find we share these characteristics and needs and ways of being. The book approaches it in a range of ways but with a personal touch throughout (so far) and I think there are little ah-ha moments.
DeleteF - I am so happy you have that marvelous book in your hands! I know of so many who will see themselves in its pages and feel a lot better about characteristics that quite literally set them apart, but in a good way. And many thanks for the link to the talk - it was great to see the author speaking with such poise and confidence. Hope all is well.
ReplyDeleteHi G-TT, so funny that this book has found its way into so many like-minded people's hands isn't it? I too thought she spoke well in the TED talk; so genuine. I loved the idea of her suitcase on her way to camp and ROWDIE! All is well here...hope it is also with you.
DeleteFiona, what a beautiful post. I am the same way: I can be social, meet & greet, etc. but it takes so much energy away from me. Being home in my studio restores that energy. It is so nice to have friends who 'get it.'
ReplyDeleteThank jane, It can feel so good can't it to see ourselves reflected like this? To know that we are not alone. There is a great deal of restorative power in our homes and our studios isn't there?
DeleteFiona,
ReplyDeleteI have to tell you that this post brought me to tears. You expressed perfectly how I feel about this subject. I can "do" the talking and circulating when it is necessary, but like you, I feel that it costs me greatly and I long for my solitude and private, quiet space when I am away from it. I am coming off of an extremely busy time with a steady stream of guests in my home and my son's wedding last weekend. Today are my first moments to myself in what feels like a very long time... I'm so very grateful for my time alone today. Thank you for this post at such a perfect time.
Helen
Thank you so much Helen. I am sorry I haven't been able to reply until now; I have been away with work-work and technology failed me until I returned home. You must be so happy to have some down-time, some quiet-time, some just being alone time after your hectic time of people and places. I know I just want to crawl into a corner and hide after a lengthy time of being that person who talks and greets and looks after...I hope you are feeling renewed and restored. Go well.
DeleteWell, I must say 'me too'. I need silence and solitude to do my own work and I am always amazed by those artists who work to the sound of rock music! I need silence to recharge my batteries too. And it is so comforting to be with people who do not feel embarrassed when there's a long silence. To be able to take a walk with someone without talking is like taking a walk through heaven.
ReplyDeleteHi Ersi - I think there are a few of us like this out there! Quietness and silence and solitude are just what I need to re-charge my batteries too. Being quiet together is a very lovely thing!
DeleteFiona....I read that book "Quiet" not long ago....what a relief to see myself there and not feel so out of sync with the world. Yes, we introverts can make do and behave as it we are outgoing, but no one sees the price we pay afterwards! Takes a long time to get back to feeling okay after expending all that energy! So glad to see this post....how refreshing!
ReplyDeleteHi pAtti - it's nice to see ourselves reflected and in some ways validating too I think. It can feel as if we are out of step or out of kilter with the world, when really we are just being us and that is OK! I haven't finished the book by any means, but am enjoying picking up the little bits of gold within.
Delete