Thursday Thoughts...

“Because in the end, when you lose somebody, every candle, every prayer is not going to make up for the fact that the only thing you have left is a hole in your life where that somebody that you cared about used to be.” 

Damon Salvatore

Around this time of year it seems to me there can be a lot of sadness and reflection abut the loss of those we hold dear. Perhaps we feel their absence more strongly as families gather and celebrations occur.

This quote acknowledges that there is little or nothing we can do to fill the aching hole that appears in our lives when our dear ones die.  The notion of the hole is a big one around grief. Voids, emptiness, dark holes are all images that are used and words spoken to describe the huge absence. 

The quote acknowledges this hole - and the gaping nature of it - but doe not go so far, as others often do, to talk of filling the hole. My sense is it is good to acknowledge the hole and the emptiness, but to speak of filling does not feel right. Filling seems to reflect replacement or papering over or something like that. I think I like the thoughts about working around the hole, building strength around it, connections beyond it, and perhaps just leaving the hole with its edges protected a bit more as time goes along.

Perhaps the hole shrinks in relation to the size it started off as in your daily life, but it is there, and nothing really can replace or fill the hole your loved folk leave.