I Hit a Wall on show

On Friday B and I headed off to the big smoke (Brisbane) on the train (for 50c each way!) to see an exhibition called Dearly Departed, at the State Library of Queensland.  The Library has put together an exhibition around death, dying, loss and grief and has sources lot son fascinating items from heir collection; the original layout maps of cemeteries, stonemasons tools, journals of nurses and doctors; and all many of things related to how we mark death and the grieving process.

I was thrilled to learn that my artist' book I Hit a Wall  had been selected to go on show alongside so many other precious items.

I have written about its progress before (plenty of link backs in that previous link) but here are the words that accompany it in the collection (but which are not display in the exhibition):

I hit a wall 
2024

After the year that was 2020 I regretted not creating any work that spoke of, or to, the pandemic.
In 2021 I thought I would pay attention and just note down key events.
My Dad had gifted me a number of my mother’s handkerchiefs and I thought to embroider a journal of sorts onto them.
I began by writing down events in my own handwriting, transferring them onto a hankie, and then hand embroidering my handwriting.
I had no idea what 2021 would hold and that in fact, it would be busier than 2020 had been.

Each month I would capture events, and start stitching.
It took all my creative time to try and keep up with policy shifts; quarantine; border closures; contact tracing; gatherings; social distancing; access to vaccines; short sharp lockdowns…
It was exhausting.
I persisted.  
But then.

There was too much. I was too tired of it all.  I felt numb and overwhelmed. I felt weary.
I transferred the month of August onto the hankie but couldn’t start stitching. So much happened in that month that I had to do the criss-cross writing so often seen in old correspondence where the written lines went in two directions. I felt it would never end.
And I submitted to a sense of overwhelmedness and simply stopped.  

I hit a wall.

Leaving this artists’ book partially completed represents us all at the tail end of that year. I had thought I might pick it up and complete it, but I haven’t been able to.  Like everybody I probably just want to park those times, not re-visit them in detail.

Reading the handkerchief pages of this book, I am amazed to recall the daily drama we dealt with.

But I hit a wall and have now simply tacked the pages together and it is complete just as it is…

31cm(h) x 31cm(w) x 1cm(d) closed; 31cm(h) x 62cm(w) x 1cm(d) open.

Cotton handkerchiefs and embroidery thread, Pilot Frixion pen

There were different themes across the exhibition, and my work was part of the Pandemics, epidemics and quarantine.

There is an interesting virtual tour of the exhibition for those who can't get to Brisbane, and here is a screen shot of my work on display.

Back to the book itself, August was the month that defeated me - so much happened and I felt overwhelmed by the thought of trying to capture it all, let alone sew it all.

And by October, I had nothing.

This remains a book that I am proud of, and that has a special place in my heart and in my mind. They were such difficult times, and with this book, we remember them.

Some good news

 I haven't managed to get to the studio or do anything for quite a while now, so the only thing I have to blog about is some good news received from the State Library of Queensland.

Back in 2017, the Library acquired one of my books  what about? why doesn't? what can? what does?for their collection.

I recently fielded an enquiry about whether I had any of the edition left as they were interested in purchasing an additional copy.

The book attempts to answer four questions I often see asked about domestic abuse and family violence:

What about male victims?

Why doesn't she leave?

What can I do?

What does gender have to do with it?

The Library has a White Gloves Room, where the Australian Library of Art often hosts White Gloves events. These events offer visitors the opportunity to engage with artists' books in their collection, to learn more about them and to experience handling them. 

In this instance, the Library wanted to purchase another copy of my book, so that they could make it available for these programs; especially for the handling. This way the original remains in the collection and can be brought out to be handled by individual patrons; but the second version would be able to be handled by many more people. 

I was honoured that the book was selected for this program.

The imagery for what about male victims?  - shows the vast majority of victims are female. All victims should be supported and believed; however, the systems we live and operate in are skewed such that women are far more often the victims of domestic abuse.

why doesn't she leave? imagery shows how hard it is to leave, how trapped and caught within a maze and web women often are. How hard it is to find a safe way out.

what can i do?  is represented by imagery suggesting you can stand beside her and surround her with  a circle of support.

what does gender have to do with it? women and men are not treated equally. Historically women were considered the property of males; they could not own property themselves and so on and so on. This encourages some men to think they can do things to women because they 'own' them. What we are seeking is a gender neutral way of being in the world where men and women are valued and treated equally.

And the book leads us to action. In big ways, and in small ways. To take to the streets, or to condemn a sexist joke or comment. To sign a petition, or to listen to a friend and help them stay safe.

It is nice to think this wee book (10cm x 10cm) with such a lot of work and effort and care and thought in it, will go on to speak to students and visitors for a time yet...

Innerpeffray and a twist in the tale of Sannick Bay...

 Well, we are back in Australia and settling in to things here, and gradually de-fuzzing our heads from jet lag.

We meandered our way back down to Glasgow over a couple of days and left as Storm Babet was beginning its run. We managed to skirt the edges of it most of the way, but there was rain, wind and the rivers ran high.

As we crossed Sutherland in the rain, the soft greys and browns were at their best.

We spent a couple of nights in Crieff, which meant we could re-visit Innerpeffray Library and Chapel which we happened upon so serendipitously last year. Always so special, and I hope to make it a regular visit whenever we are there.

Again, we were fortunate to have Lara, the Keeper of The Books to show us around and talk us through the collection and the displays.

We also spent some time in the school house where some lovely displays had been made - the stories of children at the school, and the books they had borrowed, were on all four walls.

But back in the Library itself, after having seen the magnificent Register last year, dating from 1747, I had wanted to know how many women had borrowed books? Lara said there were quite a few, and that in fact,  on the very first page of the Register there was a woman, called Beatrix who had borrowed a book. Not on behalf of her Master or Mistress, but for herself. And that made me happy.

Her name is the very last on the page, and I think the book she borrowed was something like Following Christ the way, the truth and the life. And she returned it.

Then. 

We mentioned to Lara the words of Pablo Neruda carved into stones on the far north coast of Scotland, and the magic of that discovery. She asked had we visited the Corbenic Poetry Path (we exclaimed, we had! Just yesterday!). And then Barry mentioned the second stone we had discovered way up North. I tried to recall some of the words and said something like - "and put my body back together...". 

Lara immediately said "The Marquis of Montrose"! We said "Yes! Something about On the Eve of My Execution". She went straight to a room next door and brought out a book - The Poetry of the Marquis - and read the whole poem to us.

We shared with her how our Librarian friend Liz had done the research and made sense of the words for us, and were excited to think that we had discovered the words and they were so well known and recalled. But as we stood there, Lara turned to the cabinet I was standing in front of and said "That's his Bible. And those are his seals".

Can you believe it? 

Sure enough - The Innerpeffray Library Collection holds the Marquis of Montrose's Bible and some Seals. How uncanny is that connection? How serendipitous the conversation? How amazing are Libraries and Librarians?

We all had a little shiver as we thought about it.

On the left hand page at the bottom, you can see his name Montrose.

And two seals from letters he had written in 1639 and ?1650. I still shake my head at the thought of it.

On our previous visit it had been pouring rain and we didn't venture out into the gardens and grounds at all, just made mad dashes between buildings. This day was glorious and we wandered along a short path and down to the river.

Along the way, we found this.

So many moments of coincidence and serendipity, we marvelled upon them for quite some time.

We hope to return to Sannick Bay to continue our quest to discover more carved stones; and to Innerpeffray Library where there are always magnificent discoveries to be made as well. What a lovely coming together of special places.

Library Time

 On our last visit, we were home one day and saw the Mobile Library pull up along the road. It cheered me enormously to think of this lovely yellow truck making its way around the Highlands stopping in to deliver and receive books, bringing bookishness to the isolated areas. So happy.

This time when I saw it drive up the road I was ready with my card. One of the first things we had done when we bought the cottage was to become Library members, and here at last was my chance!

Seriously, it really did feel like Aladdin’s cave in there. So many books. So beautifully organised. Such a welcoming librarian!

I borrowed a couple of books. They are only at this stop for 15 minutes so I felt I couldn’t dally. I have always wanted to read Ali Smith’s quartet and Autumn is the first volume so I grabbed it. I almost read it in one sitting it was that good. So clever, so observant, so gentle, so lyrical. 

I was chuffed that because we have no mobile signal where we are, the good old manual stamp was still needed. 

What a glorious sight, the story this tells, the memories it evokes…

I will return my books in a few weeks, and will definitely borrow again some time.

Green Square Library

 Wherever I go, I love stopping by a Library. I still say nearly every single time (and poor Barry can attest to this) "I LOVE Libraries! They are just the BEST!" with all the enthusiasm and excitement those bold letters and exclamation marks conjure up.

And so it was once again when our friend Karen introduced us to her local library here in Sydney - at Green Square.  It is a relatively newly built building and part of a very green re-development that is still evolving.

I was a touch underwhelmed the first time I saw it - as we passed by on a bus. I thought that it seemed quite small really, and wouldn't have much variety or things on offer. Silly me. The building is mostly underground; and the small pyramid-like shape I could see was just the tip of it, so to speak.

On looking, you can see the circular light wells in the paved area that help illuminate below. The area is also a shared pedestrian, bike, car zone.

The circle you can see in the paved are above is an open air garden in the middle of the Library where you can sit and eat, drink a coffee, stare at the sky in between other things.

The tower has six floors of all sorts of things - meeting room, music room, anything room...

I can't recall the name of this room - but it should be the rainbow room! I think it was the reading room.

Karen and I among the rainbows...

The tower also has this sculpture - a real plane with all sorts of lands and dioramas upon it...books can take you anywhere.

At this end of the underground library you look out to an amphitheatre. You can see where the screen drops down from inside and everybody can be seated outside watching a film or an event or... inside they can arrange the furniture for more intimate showings.

But then the books. The children's area has all sorts of great nooks (in which I have seen many children curled up reading), low shelves and tables and chairs.

This may not be news to some, but I ended up in the Parents Room to use the toilet and found a tiny toilet to the right; and a regular toilet to the left - how cool to be able to take your little one in with you, and keep an eye on them.

And of course there were amazing things to borrow, and simple and sleek systems and loads of books and computers and tables and chair and rooms. Up in the pyramid there is also a coffee shop and heaps of magazines.

But also recycling centres for batteries, phones, lightbulbs and so on.

And of course, you can loan a phone charger. Brilliant!

I could go on and on and on but I won't. It is a remarkable piece of urban design, welcoming the community into and around it; making great use of space and caring for the environment in big way.

I think if I lived here I might never go anywhere else...

Except to the fabulous art galleries of course...