Thursday Thoughts...

“One of the true tasks of true friendship is to listen compassionately and creatively to the hidden silences. Often secrets are not revealed in words, they lie concealed in the silence between the words or in the depth of what is unsayable between two people.” 

John O’Donohue

You rarely go wrong with John O'Donohue. His book Benedictus was my mum's favourite, and she gifted it regularly and widely. I reference it a lot. (It might also go by the name To Bless The Space Between Us). He always seems to find a way to describe a particular event, situation, or time so warmly, lovingly and deeply.

As he does here. Friendship. 

The wisdom in these words is profound.  One of the greatest gifts friends can give it to sit with the silence. I know it's a bit of a catch phrase really, but the notion of holding the space for a friend when they are troubled or uncertain. 

I particularly like the way he speaks of compassionate and creative listening. Sometime creative listening can get you into more trouble of course - when you imagine what is meant but you are well off the mark; but it is a good guide to how you might listen. And of course if you then check in that you have understood, all should be well.

Creative and compassionate listening seem to be so much more about the other person than yourself. Without them the listening is all linked back to you - what you think, how you would respond, what you could suggest etc.

I sit and imagine visually almost, the depth of what is unsayable, and think to myself there is a place to spend time and consider.

The silence between two friends... from A Book of Silences I (2025)