Thursday Thoughts...

“Shape clay into a vessel;
 It is the space within that makes it useful. 


Cut doors and windows for a room;
 It is the holes which make it useful. 


Therefore benefit comes from what is there; 
Usefulness from what is not there.” 

Lao Tzu

I know I have some work ahead of me when I read over a possible quote and go yes, then shake my head in disagreement, and wonder if I've not read it properly.  This happened with this quote and so here I am about to dig in and try to sort out my thinking.

I am fully on board with the first idea - that it is the space within a vessel that makes it useful. A cup is useful because of the void within it that can be filled with liquid that provides sustenance or comfort.

The second idea about doors and windows making a room useful I'm less sure of.  I think it's the walls and the roof that make a room useful! The roof in particular is key in terms of protection from the elements and by virtue of keeping the roof up, walls are also key and they also define a space which creates its usefulness in terms of scale - a tiny storeroom or a large living area. Doors allow you enter it and make use of it I guess.

And then I end up being somewhat confounded because I am not sure I fully understand his definitions and delineation between benefit and usefulness...

Somehow benefit comes from the form of the cup - the structure? Because it creates a void? And usefulness from the void within? And for a room its benefit comes from walls and a roof and the usefulness from doors and windows. Is that because the windows allow light in and one can therefore navigate the space, see things and find things within it? Doors make it useful because you can enter it?

Enough pondering for one day. It's a tricky one!

Both the benefit, and usefulness, of a cup are clear tome!

Thursday Thoughts...

“What is necessary, after all, is only this: solitude, vast inner solitude. To walk inside yourself and meet no one for hours - that is what you must be able to attain. To be solitary as you were when you were a child, when the grownups walked around involved with matters that seemed large and important because they looked so busy and because you didn’t understand a thing about what they were doing.” 

Rainer Maria Rilke

Solitude. Inner Solitude. To be solitary.

For some of us this need is just that - as if it were food or shelter or drink - we need solitude. We need time on our own and we need quiet spaces to simply sit with ourselves and with nothing.

I love visualising the notion of walking inside yourself and meeting no one. Vastness. Emptiness. 

The way he links this place to being like a child again - does take you back to those times you were in adult company and where you had been told to sit and be quiet - and you did. You spent all this time with your self and your aloneness, even tho you were in amongst people.

These were good times for the imagination. Or oftentimes for me, good times to sit and read a book, which is a solitary activity, yet not quite solitude as he means it.

I re-balance in these moments of solitude, I refill, I replenish and I refresh. Solitude is necessary for me to feel balanced and right and 'me', and I love that he knows how much it matters.

Sometimes a vast outer solitude too...

Thursday Thoughts...

"The beginning of a friendship, the fact that two people out of the thousands around them can meet and connect and become friends, seems like a kind of magic to me. But maintaining a friendship requires work. I don't mean that as a bad thing. Good art requires work as well". 

Charles de Lint

This quote does two things for me - it reminds me we should celebrate our friendships; and it reminds me that friendships need nurturing.

When I stop and think about the first part of this quote it really can be rather magical that in amongst the multitudes of people we meet in so many settings, we somehow come across folk who get us, and with whom we can simply be ourselves. 

Friendships are such important, stabilising and supporting relationships. They differ to familial relationships in plenty of ways; and I am forever grateful for the women friends in my life.

Maintaining friendships does take work, or investment. Each friendship takes different amounts of input and it occurs in different ways, but taking time to check in with friends is time well spent - an excellent return on investment!

I am looking forward to a new body of work celebrating women friends later this year.

Thursday Thoughts...

“today … may i be me …. being & becoming.” 

E.E.Cummings

Whenever I come across quotes by E.E. Cummings I think - oh I really should read more of their work!

I love the simplicity of this, together with its deep and thoughtful message.

This one feels to me as if it is almost a request to the Universe, to allow us to the best us we can be today. What a beautiful way to start each day - seeking a commitment from yourself to be the best you can be - both as you are and as you may become.

Being and becoming. The present and the future. I think we often struggle with simply being; being present; being enough; being happy in this moment, in this place.  So may I simply be me.

And I like the use of becoming - it has that hint of hope; of growth, of change but in a positive way as if there is still time for us to become the best we can be.

On reflection, I have clearly determined that being me = being the best me; and that works for me here.

Tree trunk, Battery Point 2014.

I wonder why this feels like me being and becoming my best me?

Thursday Thoughts...

"If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present". 

Lao Tzu

I oftentimes read a quote like this and something clicks. Perhaps it is that I respond to simple theories and categorisations; or perhaps it because somebody has captured the essence of something, from which we can build.

When I first read this, I wondered how accurate it could be, and I tried to analyse it. I think like many truisms or simple statements it can hold up; yet can also be challenged.

The last part about being at peace if you are living in the present, seems to be strongly linked to mindfulness approaches and that being present is all that we really can be. That this moment is really all that we have.  I pondered how this is oftentimes true; if we are here in the now, then the past and the future are not affecting us, along with the burdens and or gifts that they carry.

However; of course, for many folk right here and right now is the fearful place. It is the place of bombing, of sirens, of burning; the place of great sadness or of anger. The present is not always peaceful; nor are we sure to be at peace if we are present. But broadly speaking it holds in the general spirit of things I think.

Living in the future and being anxious was a good way for me to think about it as well; because for me anxiety is nearly always about something that is out there, to be done, to be faced, to await. Anxiety for me seems to be linked to waiting for something to happen and wondering how awful it will be; or assuming that a moment in the future will be stressful. Or simply that the future itself is stressful. Which at the moment it kind of is.

And the first/final notion of being depressed being linked to living in the past was also a simple descriptor which got me thinking. I am fortunate to not have lived experience of any serious or lengthy depressions. I have had sadness and grief and dark times and I wonder how much of that is about regret, or loss of things from the past. Death and grief lead you to be sad for the loss of relationships that you had; but I am not sure I am qualified to interrogate this notion too closely.  There is however, something in this notion that has a ring of small truth to it, for me.

A friend recently sent this photo of the lands near our cottage in Scotland. I look a this and I can breathe. The air, the empty spaces, the long long vistas... a place to feel present.

Thursday Thoughts...

“Introversion- along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness- is now a second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology. Introverts living in the Extrovert Ideal are like women in a man’s world, discounted because of a trait that goes to the core of who they are. Extroversion is an enormously appealing personality style, but we’ve turned it into an oppressive standard to which most of us feel we must conform.” 

Susan Cain

I am happy that I can still roam through my quotes pages and find ones that for whatever reason, jump out at me and recommend themselves for pondering.

I read Susan Cain's book Quiet many years go and felt such an infinity for her world and descriptors. I have actually done two previous Thursday Thoughts on quotes by her I realise - here and here. But still, it seems I have more thoughts! Or maybe, she has different thoughts on introversion worthy of pondering...

I really do agree with this quote as it suggests the world of extraversion is the one which is valued, celebrated and held up as an exemplar of a successful life. Introverts rarely get praised as role models or set up as exemplars.

She appears really pointed when she describes the personality trait of introversion as being considered as somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology. Ouch! 

I have come to accept that folk will oftentimes underestimate me. In part because I am a woman, in part because I don't need to shine in public settings or push forward my position or prove my expertise. I am a watcher and a listener. I am an observer who also carries with her a strong sense of intuition. I can read a room, I can read body language and I can read the temperature of a conversation.

When required to be forceful or project my position; when the job or task at hand requires it, I can do it. Happily and successfully. But I am much happier in my introvert world - small groups of people, time by myself, time to recharge my battery.

Thursday Thoughts...

“Silence is so accurate.”

 Mark Rothko

This quote appealed this morning as I turn my mind towards the second book of Silences.  Silence can be, and is, so many things to so many people, and I really wonder about this one.

The accuracy of silence.  I think that sometimes yes it is accurate, true and correct. That the silence is all that is needed, that it is the complete response or the complete way of being. 

But sometimes I really do think that silence can be misinterpreted as well; its accuracy mislaid; its meaning misconstrued. 

I think of the times when I am taken aback and am thinking, thinking, processing, processing; and my silence could appear to be all manner of things. At those times my silence is mostly just thinking time, an attempt to formulate a response; sometimes an effort to put a lid on what I might want to blurt; and to craft a gentler more reasonable response. 

In those moments I am not ignoring the person, I'm not dismissing them. It is no power play or trap; I'm simply processing and getting a handle on my own emotions. 

At other time our silence is perfect. Sitting alongside someone who is troubled, letting them know they have been heard, that we are in this together, that I am not trying to fix things or to resolve things or cheer them up. The silence of acknowledgement is accurate.

From Pas de Deux 10 - Silences. Susan Bowers and Fiona Dempster 2015.

Thursday Thoughts...

“One of the true tasks of true friendship is to listen compassionately and creatively to the hidden silences. Often secrets are not revealed in words, they lie concealed in the silence between the words or in the depth of what is unsayable between two people.” 

John O’Donohue

You rarely go wrong with John O'Donohue. His book Benedictus was my mum's favourite, and she gifted it regularly and widely. I reference it a lot. (It might also go by the name To Bless The Space Between Us). He always seems to find a way to describe a particular event, situation, or time so warmly, lovingly and deeply.

As he does here. Friendship. 

The wisdom in these words is profound.  One of the greatest gifts friends can give it to sit with the silence. I know it's a bit of a catch phrase really, but the notion of holding the space for a friend when they are troubled or uncertain. 

I particularly like the way he speaks of compassionate and creative listening. Sometime creative listening can get you into more trouble of course - when you imagine what is meant but you are well off the mark; but it is a good guide to how you might listen. And of course if you then check in that you have understood, all should be well.

Creative and compassionate listening seem to be so much more about the other person than yourself. Without them the listening is all linked back to you - what you think, how you would respond, what you could suggest etc.

I sit and imagine visually almost, the depth of what is unsayable, and think to myself there is a place to spend time and consider.

The silence between two friends... from A Book of Silences I (2025)

Thursday Thoughts...

“My dear, 

In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love. 

In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile. 

In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm. 

I realized, through it all, that… In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. 

And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.” 

Truly Yours, Albert Camus

At different times I have found it hard to confirm that this quote is accurate, but I am working on the theory that it is close, and that the sentiment holds.

On Christmas Day, after a horrific terrorist attack in Australia eleven days ago, so many of us are searching, and seeking to understand, working hard to find a sense of hope for peace amongst us.

These words are a small salve for me - that sense that in amongst hate, it is possible for us as individuals to keep true with love.

To find calm amid a storm, to find peace amongst the warring, to have hope in amongst the dire...

It seems so very very hard, when we are overwhelmed and overcome by darkness, to recall that within us is a light. It flickers, flutters, and then catches again and shines brightly.

We are better together. We need to shine our light brightly, for ourselves and for others.

As Christmas arrives and we turn towards family, friends, community, rituals, and gentle remembering, I wish for peace.

Peace within, peace between us and peace between nations.

To all my blogging friends who share so much and support each other so much, thank you for another year of magic.

Wherever you may be, and however you may spend the time, may your Christmas be bright and beautiful, may you be safe, and may you find and celebrate moments of peace.

Festive lights

 Oh my goodness - this December is quite the December. Lots on in life, moving the studio and of course the rush to the end of the year and associated festivities.

Not much time for making that is sure.  

Here is a bunch of twinkles we have around the place - they make me smile which is good to do this time year.

Some twinkles around our sage bush at the front door.

Some twinkles around the base of our magnolia.

Some twinkles across the way at the outdoor table shelter. And in the Christmas Bush.

Gifts wrapped for everybody in the village to be shared at lunch later this week.

A bit of movement across our neighbour's lights - abstract art!

Some twinkles in a neighbour's tree fern!

I love the Jackson Pollock nature of these lights at another neighbour's place.

A bowl of bubbles and twinkles on our table over the weekend.

Some snowflake twinkles on my dad's rosemary bush - it is ginormous!

Whenever I feel a bit wrung out, weary, overwhelmed or plain tired, if I wander outside in the evening, I always end up smiling at the twinkles our neighbours are sharing.

Thursday Thoughts

“Our business in life is not to succeed, but to continue to fail in good spirits.” 

Robert Louis Stevenson

This one feels like such a good reminder to keep it all in perspective.  

I am imagining that Mr Stevenson was well aware of the need for success. I think he was the grandson of the famous Robert Stevenson who built many lighthouse on the wild Scottish coastline. Success really mattered there - if you messed things up, lives were well and truly put at risk.

So it's interesting to me that he might take this approach to life. But perhaps it is linked more to his own vocation and career - being a writer. There is probably less at stake if one fails with a book!

I really like the notion that we keep on keeping on, even tho we are bound to fail on occasions. And the critical thing is that we have the right attitude to it. We don't always need to beat ourselves up; or criticise ourselves; or feel like failures. We have to acknowledge that failure is part of the road to success and that we should accept these knock backs and learn what we can from them. And remain in good spirits!

Strathy Point Lighthouse where we spent a lovely evening on our trip.

Thursday Thoughts...

"The world is the closed door. It is a barrier. And at the same time it is the way through. Two prisoners whose cells adjoin communicate with each other by knocking on the wall. The wall is the thing which separates them but it is also their means of communication … every separation is a link". 

 Simone Weil

I was headed towards a rather simple pondering this morning, and then I came across this one. And as ever I know not how, but it grabbed me and said 'choose me'.

I confess up front to not having read anything of Ms Weil's to date, but she sounds an interesting character, whose work would be worthy of exploration.

Perhaps this one appealed to me because it speaks of duality. She has taken a moment to consider an object and describe how it can act in two opposing ways.  With a particular example which really does make her case; she could suggest an extrapolation of this notion to other events, objects and experiences.

What can be this; can also be that. 

Interestingly, I think she goes not so much to the scene or the set-up or the physicality of the object; but rather to the concept of that particular example (the wall both divides and enables communication); and instead extrapolates that idea - that every separation is also a link.

For me, this is much harder to conceive of and my mind does some twisting and turning as I attempt to work my way through it. Can every separation also be a link??? Or only certain separations?

In the end, I think I can agree as I try to imagine separations as links - when you are physically separated from somebody; you are somehow also deeply connected by love, by some invisible, non-physical means of attachment to a person. So perhaps the separation enhances this link? Emphasises it? Brings it forth into our awareness? 

Even when somebody dies, the link is still there - through memories, objects you can touch or feel or smell, certain shared experiences, words or moments...

This one could take a lifetime of pondering!

Do Ho Suh 2023

Thursday Thoughts...

“We are living in a culture entirely hypnotized by the illusion of time, in which the so-called present moment is felt as nothing but an infinitesimal hairline between an all-powerfully causative past and an absorbingly important future. We have no present. Our consciousness is almost completely preoccupied with memory and expectation. We do not realize that there never was, is, nor will be any other experience than present experience. We confuse the world as talked about, described, and measured with the world which actually is.” 

Alan Watts

Well this is an unexpectedly complex deviation in my path! Pondering Life, I came across this and it made me think; which is akin to pondering; so here we are.

I wondered where he was headed after the introductory words "We are living in a culture entirely hypnotised by ..." there were so many things I could end that sentence with! But he really focussed on our almost cultural unwillingness to acknowledge that the here and the now is all that we have.

The past is feted as having set us on this path, that everything that has happened to us has meant we are here with all these worries and issues; and the future is so important and holds all the answers; or is also the place to be most feared and concerned about.

It's a really interesting balance for us to get right - and in the end it's all about balance. It seems he is suggesting that the past is important; and definitely sets the course a bit. We must surely also pay attention to the future. But perhaps he believes we shouldn't give overwhelming weight to these. Memory and expectation should not be all that we have.

I love his description of us living on, or in, this infinitesimal hairline - that is so small! And also that last sentence that differentiates between how the world is described v how we experience the world - one present moment at a time. His word images really sparkled in my mind.

Daily Word bowl, Barry Smith.

Thursday Thoughts...

“Does not everything depend on our interpretation of the silence around us?” 

Lawrence Durrell

As I work away on my book of silences, this quote popped out as having real meaning to me this morning. 

My sense is that this is really quite a profound way of looking at and understanding our existence and our world.  It really took me aback to think of things this way.

I daresay that words have equal impact - of course they do; but perhaps he suggests that we hear those and understand them and that they are available to most of us to interpret. Of course, they can be layered and confusing and misinterpreted too!

But with this thought I think he suggests that the silences around us are ripe for misunderstanding and our ability to interpret and possibly translate silences; to fully understand the subtle messages they reverberate out into the world, is a kind of superpower. An ability that elevates our understandings.

Silence can be understood so differently between people - for one it is a pause, a moment to gather thoughts; to another it appears as rejection and disagreement.

I have been gifted so many amazing silences for this book and from within them I am discerning so many more silences than I would ever have imagined knowing for myself...

Practising calligraphic silences, 2015.

Thursday Thoughts...

“I always forget how important the empty days are, how important it may be sometimes not to expect to produce anything, even a few lines in a journal. A day when one has not pushed oneself to the limit seems a damaged damaging day, a sinful day. Not so! The most valuable thing one can do for the psyche, occasionally, is to let it rest, wander, live in the changing light of a room.” 

May Sarton

I spent a fair bit of time pondering how this one came to be filed under 'art' and not under 'life' in my document, and in the end decided it felt more like life than art, so rather than write about it last week, here I am today, pondering Life!

I should probably have this one stuck on my wall, on the inside of every cupboard door, tattooed on my forearm and on the heads up display of our car as I drive!

There simply are words and thoughts that are meaningful and true and that continue to be life companions.

If only I could learn from them...

After returning from Scotland I knew I would be super busy for a month or so, and yep I have been. Tomorrow I fly to New Zealand to present at the Conference, and return home on Monday - literally a flying visit. And then maybe, just maybe, I can begin to work out more ways to incorporate these words into my daily ways of being.

How precious for time to be spend simply being, and not to be judging oneself harshly for not achieving masses of things. Oh to sit and rest among the quietly changing light in a room....

Thursday Thoughts...

“I am a series of small victories and large defeats and I am as amazed as any other that I have gotten from there to here.” 

Charles Bukowski

As I circle back to think about 'Life' amongst my rotating trio of ponderings, I thought about this one today and after years of sitting quietly in my large document, for some reason it was simply its time.

I don't think I have read any of his work, but this simple sentence has depth to it for me, and possibly for us all. I like the sense of awe and wonder and amazement that sneaks through its cracks. 

As we get older, I think we do often stop and reflect and think how amazing it is that we have made it from here to there. Whether that is because we had tough childhoods, or grew up with not much, or never felt confident, or ended up having one or two difficult relationships or had serious illness or injury interrupt us, or had always been told we weren't creative. For a myriad of reasons and from amongst the many things that could have derailed us, somehow here we are.

There is also something in the way he characterises his victories as small and his defeats as large. It seems that he feels he has really been knocked down at times; and that each time he won, it was only small or maybe fleeting. It made me wonder if all our defeats are large and our victories small? Possibly not all, but definitely some.

In line with other truisms, perhaps it really is that we learn more from our mistakes and losses than we do from our successes.

A recent defeat. But I did learn!

Thursday Thoughts...

“Some women are lost in the fire. Some women are built from it.” 

Michelle K.

A quick search makes me think I could be quoting a poet called Michelle K; a musician from regional Australia also called Michelle K; or perhaps K. Michelle an American singer. Apologies all round for not being sure who the words may belong to.

Fire is an interesting element to reference I think as it holds so many associations and connotations. It is easier for me to understand how a woman (or other) could be lost in fire. Fire can consume and destroy. It can leave nothing behind; it can remove all trace.

Trying to consider how a woman (or other) could be built from it is a tad harder. In some circumstances perhaps people can be burnt and recover and a new way of being is forged, and possibly built. I don't really think women rise from the ashes like phoenixes purportedly do. And now I think about it how DO phoenixes rise from the ashes??? Maybe I am just being too literal.

I can grasp how if a person's home and effects have been destroyed by, or lost to, fire that they may then re-build and build a life anew. And maybe that the fire event makes them stronger.

I imagine the main message is supposed to be that difficulties and challenges can either overwhelm you or you can emerge from them stronger and more resilient. 

Perhaps it's best not to be too literal about it all!

Our beach bonfire, Summer Solstice, Scotland 2025.

Thursday Thoughts...

“This is what one thirsts for, I realize, after the smallness of the day, of work, of details, of intimacy—even of communication, one thirsts for the magnitude and universality of a night full of stars, pouring into one like a fresh tide.” 

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I think this is so true. The ways in which our days are filled, how we move from this to that to chore to detail, to commitment, to appointment, to phone call, to cooking. And then, we lift our sights, we pause. 

We look up.

And the scale and wonder of the world is there for us - reflected by the majesty of the night sky. Whether stars or moon or cloud, it reminds us of vastness. Of eternity. Of never ending 'horizons', or content rhythms. Of endless turnings.

The ocean can do that for me too, but the sky reminds me of where I fit in amongst it all; that in reality what might seem big or huge to me is small within the universe. That my worries will pass. The world and the universe will keep turning and we can find a way through.

Our night sky on Wednesday night. It was mesmerising and time slipped away as we watched the slow, slow roll of the clouds over the almost full moon. It felt like an honour to watch it.

Thursday Thoughts...

“Hope inspires the good to reveal itself” 

 Emily Dickinson

Once again it seems like the quotes I am coming across that speak to me, are quotes that we need in these times. Isn't this just the loveliest of thoughts? That hope inspire the good to reveal itself?

As I sat and ponder this one, it made me slow down, and think about what hope can do and it truly does help us to see the good things. To pay attention to small acts of kindness or generosity or resistance or care.

Well before the self help books of our era, Ms Dickinson seemed to intuit that with an attitude of hope it is easier for us to notice good. It is then more likely that we will participate in this virtuous circle, that we will find the energy to continue because we have seen others doing good.

Another nice element of the quote I think is that she is suggesting that the good is there. It exists, it is being quiet and doing what it does; but that hope enables us to see it. Hope doesn't manifest the good; it simply reveals it. In fact it inspires the good to reveal itself which is even better in a way, giving agency of sorts to the good!

Thursday Thoughts...

“I love ritual and repetition. Without them I would be a balloon with a slow leak”. 

 Anne Lamott

I am back to Anne Lamott - her mind is just so interesting. Her life too, and the many ways in which she has learned things is great. I listened to a conversation with her by Monica Lewinsky on Monica's new podcast this week and there was much to mull over.

But here I find that yet again we are simpatico. I love ritual and repetition and I would add routine.

From the way she describes what happens when she doesn't have them in her life, it seems to me that she finds they keep her upright; they keep her buoyant; they keep her moving.  That without them she literally runs out of puff and doesn't know which direction to head in, or how to move along.

Aimless perhaps? 

I think ritual and reparations are also very comforting and calming; the patterns and the rhythms offer days and lives on repeat keep like  heartbeat in the background. A steady and reliable pulsing. Without them I reckon I would go from sinus rhythm to an arrhythmia of sorts.

A slow leaking balloon made me pause and think about all of the things that implied and suggested; and I love how she made me do that with her simple words.

Me with ritual and routine!