“The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words.”
Rachel Naomi Remen
Those moments when you feel as if you are being heard, that somebody has taken the time to stop and be with you, and to listen. They are precious moments indeed.
There are some people in the world who offer that up nearly each and every time you speak with them. They are people who feel present, who make you feel as if they have put time on hold, who have turned down the myriad of buzzing noises in their daily life so they become muted, and so that as a person they can listen to you.
I try to do this, to be present, available to the person I am with. Sometimes it works, other times I know I decide to multi-task - like sweep the floor whilst I am on the phone, scroll thru emails if I'm on the phone. I try to catch myself and stop it, because I feel as if I am cheating the person of my attention, which in the end is something I can easily give for free.
There is no better feeling to have been heard, to have spoken and been understood. And sometimes there is nothing better than to just be with a person, to sit beside them saying nothing, just being with them in the silence. I am amazed at what care, love and concern can be transmitted through silence.
I guess paying attention, listening...they're both about being mindful and in the present moment. It feels good when you can do it, and when people offer it to you as well.
We are just back from a week's work down south. One day we were lucky enough to visit the National Gallery in Canberra, and sit quietly within James Turrell's "Within, Without". It doesn't do the work justice to say you enter this kind of pyramid built into the ground and move through spaces until you arrive at the central chamber where you sit. And look up. And this perfect circle of sky makes you stop and just be.
Rachel Naomi Remen
Those moments when you feel as if you are being heard, that somebody has taken the time to stop and be with you, and to listen. They are precious moments indeed.
There are some people in the world who offer that up nearly each and every time you speak with them. They are people who feel present, who make you feel as if they have put time on hold, who have turned down the myriad of buzzing noises in their daily life so they become muted, and so that as a person they can listen to you.
I try to do this, to be present, available to the person I am with. Sometimes it works, other times I know I decide to multi-task - like sweep the floor whilst I am on the phone, scroll thru emails if I'm on the phone. I try to catch myself and stop it, because I feel as if I am cheating the person of my attention, which in the end is something I can easily give for free.
There is no better feeling to have been heard, to have spoken and been understood. And sometimes there is nothing better than to just be with a person, to sit beside them saying nothing, just being with them in the silence. I am amazed at what care, love and concern can be transmitted through silence.
I guess paying attention, listening...they're both about being mindful and in the present moment. It feels good when you can do it, and when people offer it to you as well.
We are just back from a week's work down south. One day we were lucky enough to visit the National Gallery in Canberra, and sit quietly within James Turrell's "Within, Without". It doesn't do the work justice to say you enter this kind of pyramid built into the ground and move through spaces until you arrive at the central chamber where you sit. And look up. And this perfect circle of sky makes you stop and just be.
Beautiful words and so very true. That image is incredible! At first, I thought I was looking straight down on a perfectly blue bowl and was surprised to read that I was really looking up into the perfectly blue sky. It is like looking into infinity.
ReplyDeleteThanksJulie - it is the most remarkable experience, and this photo does give a sense of the ethereal, other wordiness of it. Oh, and that sky!
DeleteI might not always comment Fiona, but I AM listening...in a new tech. kind of way.
ReplyDeleteI like that Jo! Listening in a new tech kind of way...I think we all do and as yuo say, we don't always comment but we do follow/keep abreast of things. Go well.
DeleteBlue sky! I thought of everything but the obvious.
ReplyDeleteA loving silence ..... I like that.
Fascinating isn't it Robyn!?! It is truly remarkable and breathtaking and if you are there early enough, quiet, silent and solitary. We love it. And yes, loving silences can transmit so much...
DeleteI was given a piece of advice early on in my working career, mainly for when I was dealing with clients, but I adopted it as a constant for every verbal communication and try to keep it in mind all the time. I was told that we have two ears and one mouth and we should use them in that proportion. Not rocket science but it works. Listening well is not easy but if you get it right, it is wonderful.
ReplyDeleteI do like that piece of advice Lesley and it is a good reminder. Like you said, not rocket science but a truism that is, best of all, quite true! It isn't always easy but the rewards are great I think. I shall do better...
DeleteI've been holding this last image of blue in my mind since I saw your post yesterday. Trudging through rain rain and rain - it has really kept me going. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteHi Annie, so glad a bit of our blue has helped out over there. Canberra just has the biggest blue skies - I kept looking up the whole time we were there in awe and commenting every hour or so it seemed! It's a stunning colour and a wonderful, reflective place. Go well as you trudge thru rain, again. Enough!
DeleteBlue sky! And such a blue! Very Australian I think. Listening is such an art. Most of the time I think I'm good at it, I certainly mean to be, but as you say Fiona, sometimes the multi-tasking sneaks in. I find the most important thing I can do these days is listen to the children with my full attention. If I show them respect I hope they learn similar respect for others. This means close the book, turn off the TV or close the iPad...
ReplyDeleteSo very Australian I agree Carol - it's always that big blue sky that lets me know I am home. I think it is important to demonstrate that you are tuned in and giving your attention to someone, so yes, close the iPad, mute the tv...they are all cues which hopefully show how it is done, and then folk/little ones who appreciate it may learn and reciprocate...I think we are all guilty of the multitasking at times, just need to catch myself more quickly more often!
ReplyDeleteTotal envy at you seeing the Turrell work, what beauty, thanks Fiona. And as for listening, well I got some new hearing aids so I'm working on it, but wow, is the world ever noisy!
ReplyDeleteThanks Liz - it is truly astonishing and really does take your breath away bait as you re-calibrate where you are and how space is working. Oh my goodness, your world must be much louder now! Sometimes the muffled muteness is soothing and quiet - albeit frustrating at other times. Hope the settling in phase goes well.
DeleteBeautiful words, Fiona...ones to linger on, as is your image. When I saw the thumbnail in my sidebar I imagined it must be an abstract painting, so was quite amazed to discover its true identity. As is the beauty of bestowing your attention fully on another person's words, the image is also very powerful!!
ReplyDelete